Why?
by avocadobaby
Summary: Waking up, hungover, Bernard and Fran both feel the same about each other, they're just to scared to say.
1. Wake

**This is my first Black Books fanfic, it's not great, but I guess it can't be that bad… so…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Black Books, if I did, it would still be running, Fran and Bernard would be together, and they'd all be as dumb as ever. So… Enjoy!**

I woke up next to him, he smelt of cheap wine and smoke. I took the unlit cigarette out of his mouth and lit it. I stumbled around his bedroom, looking for some paracetomal. Why did we keep on doing this? I thought. It was the same thing, every time, we'd get drunk, sleep together, I'd sneak out before Manny would see and then we'd never speak about it. I sighed and rubbed my head. Bernard murmured drunkenly in his sleep. I sat next to him on the bed as he came round, muttering my name. But I knew it didn't mean anything. "Fran… Fran… W-what happened?" he tried to sit up, but swayed and slumped his shoulders, squinting in the sunlight, as rays of sun poured through the open window. "The worst…" I answered, putting on my jacket. He groaned. "Why do we do this?"

I shrugged my shoulders and turned to the door. "Don't go… Please just, Fran, I, we, we can't keep on doing this, it's…" "Pointless and infuriating and…" I thought, "Something we'll always regret." I finished for him. "Yeah…" "I'll see you then…" I got up, and walked out. And I knew I wouldn't forget this. I never did.

**oOo**

I felt sick when she left. I imagined her sitting I her flat alone, thinking about me. I knew I was just dreaming, I'd never be that lucky. Fran would never feel the same, I was just her pessimistic friend and we just happened to share a love of chain smoking and getting wasted most nights. That was it. That was all there ever would be. I walked downstairs and saw a few customers browsing. "Get out! Get out you bastards!" I screamed at them, to let out some steam. "Bernard, you can't just-" "It's my shop I can do whatever the hell I want in it," I cut across Manny, "Where's my breakfast?" He went in to the kitchen and I put my head in my hands. "Get me some aspirin, too," I called to him. Manny brought it to me. I tried to eat, but I couldn't swallow. "I'm not hungry anymore," I mumbled, and put on my coat. "I'm going out." I left Manny stood there, looking disappointed and annoyed. I walked to her flat, and knocked at number 2. I heard a man's voice. "I'll get it, Fran, you can get ready," he said. I hid. She was with another man? Why? I raced down the stairs, and heard the man say, "Bloody idiots." I heard the door slam shut. I stood in the street, my eyes burning.

**There'll be more chapters to come, hopefully. I hope the switching of view points didn't confuse anyone. Please R&R!**


	2. Unusual

**Here's the second chapter of With You. Hope you like it!**

I lay awake. It was cold in the flat. I was lonely without him. I wanted him to lie there next to me and for him to smile and say my name in that adorable Irish accent. I shook myself. I hated the way I always thought about him. How I dreamt about him. How the only thing I wanted more was for him to be here with me.

I sat at my desk and poured myself another glass. Manny had been in bed for hours, I knew I should have gone to bed already but I was too sad to sleep. I took the photo out of my breast pocket and held it tightly in my hand. It was wearing out, but I still kept it with me. She looked perfect on it, grinning next to me. But I wasn't there anymore. I'd ripped that part off long ago, when I first realised I had feelings for her. She looked better on it without me. I knew that was why I had to back down before I really did fall for her.

I stood up. My eyes were burning again. I went upstairs and cried myself to sleep.

Fran came into the shop. She was grinning but her eyes were red.

"Hi, Bernard," she said. He didn't answer; he didn't even look up from his book. She had a lump in her throat, why was he mad at her?

"Bernard? What's up?" she asked, "I can help you, you know."

He shut his book and stood up.

"You can't," Bernard picked up his coat and started putting it on. "Manny, I'm going out!" he yelled.

"Bernard, please. Let me help," she thought, "is it, about, err…" she looked around to check Manny wasn't there. She lowered her voice.

"Is it about the other night?"

"Maybe."

"Then tell me. You're my oldest friend, I just, I can't imagine my life without you," she mumbled shyly. She reached over and fumbled with his coat, buttoning the buttons for him.

"Five minutes, outside."

Fran grinned; he was easily persuaded by her.

"So, what's up?" she asked.

"It's just-" he stopped. She was kissing him. Then, she broke the kiss.

"I've wanted to do that soberly for a long time, Bernard."

"I've err… Got to go…" he muttered and ran into the shop. They were both on cloud nine. And that was very unusual for Mr. Bernard Black.

**Remember R&R's make Amber happy, so do it!**


	3. Advice

**It's been like, **_**forever **_**since I've updated, but you're still with me… If there's anyone reading this…. Please say there is :) anyway, enjoy!**

It was several days until Fran came into the shop again. It was becoming colder outside; winter was approaching. Bernard sat huddled in his chair, asleep, when a voice woke him.

"Bernard, Bernard!" Manny called, "Where's Fran? I've not seen her in days."

"Why should I know," he muttered rather drunkenly, "She's more your friend than mine recently."

"I don't know what's got into you. Has something happened?"

"Yes. No. Oh I don't know! Just shut up and get on with…well-something!" he swayed, and then fell to the floor.

Manny sighed and dragged him into the kitchen, leaving him to sleep it off on the floor.

Manny had a good day whilst Bernard was asleep. He sold a lot of books and had a peaceful lunch. Fran arrived shortly after one.

"Not ill then?" Manny asked.

"Er, no…" she muttered, she seemed distracted, "Listen, Manny, I was wondering whether I could talk to you?"

"Is it about Bernard by any chance?" Manny asked.

"Yeah… Has he been acting weird at all?"

"Yeah, actually, he has. Has something happened between you two?"

"Um…" she considered him for a moment. Should she tell him everything and risk losing her friendship with Bernard? She desperately needed someone to talk to about it though…

"We, um, we… Well you know about that new years don't you?" she asked nervously.

"Yeah, Bernard told me but he said he wasn't sure whether-"

"Whether we actually did sleep together? Yeah, well… we did. I remember," she ran her fingers through her hair.

"But wasn't this all years ago?" Manny asked, confused.

"Yes, but… It happened again and now I don't know what to do…" There were tears in her eyes now.

Manny looked stunned.

"How many times has it happened?"

"Too many… I don't really know but-"

"Were you both drunk every time?" he asked.

"Yeah, we were, but we… kissed, soberly the other day," she said quietly.

Manny looked at her.

"Then you've got to talk to him. It's the only way to make things better."

**Bernard wasn't in this much, because I thought Manny and Fran could have a chat… Please R&R! :) 3**


	4. Talk

**It's been ages since I've updated, sorry. Anyway, if you want ****m****e to update, nag like hell please, otherwise I have like, no motivation…. Hope you like it!**

Bernard threw down his head on his desk and grunted.

"NO! For the third time, I do not have that book, sir!"

"Are you sure, Black?" the elderly man asked.

"YES. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm closing for the night."

Fran Katzenjammer was sat very still on her bed. She looked at the clock. It was five. Bernard would be closing soon, she thought. She stood up, and grabbed her keys from the table.

The shop door opened and Bernard looked up.

"We need to talk."

Those were the words that made Bernard Black's stomach gurgle. He really didn't want to, but he knew he had to.

"I know," he said, pouring a glass of wine, "Do you want one?"

"Yeah." He passed her the glass.

"Um… Firstly, I think we should stop seeing each other at night if there's going to be alcohol involved," Fran said, cracking her knuckles.

"That seems fair…" Bernard answered, not looking at Fran.

"And, well… I'm sorry…" Bernard looked up.

"Why?" he asked.

"For being… well, depressing and…"

"We've both been like that… I'm sorry too…"

They both looked at each other for several moments until Bernard sighed.

"I'll go. I'm tired… Good night…"

"Goodnight… Fran…"

**This was kinda short and he didn't confront her about who that guy was, but I think it's important that things get better… and then get…. Well… you'll just have to wait and see!**

**Have a good Christmas everyone! Remember R&R! **

**Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! :) **


	5. Face the Music

**Wow, shit. Sorry guys, it's been ages since I've updated….. :L I think this shall be the last chapter of the story (for like of motivation, ideas, inspiration, etc.) however, if you want more from this story (which I don't think anyone will to be honest, it's kinda depressing) just PM me :)**

**On with…**

She'd been so stupid.

She'd thought that getting away from it all would help, but it didn't. going to Spain with the girls didn't help take away the pain, she still felt empty and lonely inside. She couldn't help thinking about him, and it was driving Fran insane…

**oOo**

He'd been so stupid.

He'd bottled it all up, when really he should've told someone, anyone, maybe even Manny, about they way he felt for her. Now she was on some sunny beach in Spain hitting on tanned guys whose names she didn't know. Jealousy was taking over him…

**oOo**

Fran left the sun-soaked island abruptly, surprising her friends when she said "Duty calls". It was, after all, time to face the music.

**oOo**

Bernard heard the door open and jumped up, hoping desperately hoping she would walk through that door.

"Heya." Manny said cheerfully.

"Fuck off, will you?"

"What's up with you?"

"Nothing! Just fuck off!" Bernard shouted.

"Okay, okay!"

Bernard sat back down, lighting a cigarette. The door opened again, but this time he didn't look up.

"Go away! We're closed!"

"Bernard…"

"No, out! Out!"

He stood up. It was her.

"You came back."

She nodded, she didn't know what to say. She'd imagined this moment to be so much more romantic. He'd run to her and they'd declare their love for one and other, then kiss in the rain. But that was just Fran playing silly childish games.

"Why did you come back?" her favourite Irish accent broke the tense silence.

"I guess you mean a lot more to me than I thought you did."

She was surprised at how composed she was staying.

Bernard nodded.

"I've missed you. Not just when you were away just… in general. Things have been tense between us and I just… I want things to change…." He cut off. She was moving closer to him. He felt a lump in his throat.

What are you doing? Fran thought to herself. He's your only decent fucking friend and he has no-one without you. So why was she inching closer to him, why was he tensing up as she gently touched his arm. Why was he tilting his head and closing his eyes? Why was she closing her eyes too? Why were there lips pressing together as her hands wrapped around his neck? And his rested on her waist? Their body's intertwined in the dark room. She didn't mind that their were inches of dust everywhere or that he'd die young from his unhealthy ways, she'd dreamt of this forever, and she wasn't going to pull away soon.

And the important bits? They'd come later, they had time. All that mattered now was that they were their together, in the moment and that was all they'd ever need.

**Aw, happy ending! It sure needed one! Hmm, might write a follow up to this bundle of joy… :) **

**Until next time! **

**TRG **


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